November 3rd...

It has been 9 years since i even wanted to use meth. I haven't touched it since november 3rd, 1999. I have lost everything and everyone that I Love more then life itself. Because of it. If i would of known back then that this drug would change my life. I would of never used it. I can't take back what is done. When i decided or should i say Court Ordered to go into treatment. I really didn't have alot of faith in myself. A friend of mine had also went into treatment for the same thing. And she started using the minute she got home. I did not want to get out of treatment. And start using the second i got home. My counsler asked me why i want to stay clean. My answer was..... I am here to get clean for my children. She told me that was the wrong answer. I said no it's not the wrong answer. I am here to get myself clean for them and only them. Alot of you know that my children with there father. Except for our oldest. We live together. I am getting off track.... Anyways 9 years later i am still clean. I have had alot of shit to deal with in the past 9 years. Somehow i did it. I don't need it. Nor do i want it.