Would you believe............

That you can set microwave popcorn on fire?


Well you can. I did it twice. And in one day!
Alls i did was simply put the bag of popcorn into the microwave.
And pushed the popcorn button. And i walked away. A few minutes go by
and i was walking by the microwave. And there's all this black smoke coming out of it!
Of course i yelled What the hell...... And i stopped the microwave and opened the door and more black smoke came barrling out.

So like the dummy that i so am. I reach in there and grab the burning bag of popcorn.
So not a good idea. And i quickly bring it to the kitchen sink, And ran water on it. Not a good thing to do. As it creates way more smoke. And let me tell you it makes the loudest crackling sound in the world.

And my niece taryn still wanted some popcorn!
So i said maybe if i watch it this time it wont start on fire!
And guess what? It so did start on fire once a fucken again!
not only did i do that i also shattered the microwave plate.


Note to self....... Never pop microwave popcorn in my sister's shitty microwave!

YAY my sister is gone!

My sister left this morning for 2 weeks. And dare i say it. Yes i will YAY!!!!!!!!!
Cuz i so don't need to listen to her costant Bitchen. Frankly it was getting just a little
irrating. I think she found out the hard way yesterday morning. It wasnt even 6 a.m. and alls i can here is her irrating voice as loud as ever playing with our mom's dog charlie.

And from what my mom said geez faye i didn't think you could move that fast.
She said one minute you were laying still dead to the world. And in less then 2 seconds you were jumping off of the couch. Yelling fuck can you be more fucken irrating! And my sister laughing oh did i wake you up. Well no shit!

I have 3 sisters and only one of them can piss me off big time. My other 2 sisters are not that irrating. Dawn used to poke at me when i was sleeping. But that was because i scared her by sleeping for 12 plus hours. When she poked me i jumped about a foot. And she says oh good your okay. at least she wakes me up nicely. I will give her that.

But dawn used to put honey all over my toes when we were growing up.
And don't let me forget when dawn and our cousin scott would squeeze vitamin e in my mouth when i was sleeping. They did this cuz i would come home from a party drunk and i would pass out on the couch. they would torture me like that. And i always woke up to my dog max licking my toes. He liked honey. The best one that they did was writing on my face with permanant marker saying i like to give head. This did not go over well with our parents.

That reminds me of what one of dawn's exes did to me about 5 years ago. i was minding my own business. By sleeping i did this alot since i worked from 9pm to 6am and her boyfriend at the time donnie decided to come into my room and he then puts a corn cob in my mouth and takes a few pictures of me sleeping with this corn cob in my mouth. If you havent figured it out yet. I sleep with my mouth wide open. And yes i drool big time. I don't have the pictures thank god. But donnie does. i am going to stop at that.

A whole lot of Nuffen!

That's right i have a whole lotta of nuffen to write about.
It's gloomy and raining out. And kind of chilly and since i
didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. I am slightly on the
crabby side.

The highlight of my day is when i told mt sister bobbie that
all she does is bitch. And we got into this way huge arguement cuz she wanted
me to clean her room. If you seen her room you would know why i so did not
want to clean her room. After we were done with the arguement i storm over to
the pantry closet whip open the door and start grabbing garbage bags. And i started
to stomp my way to her room. She jumps in front of me and says no stay out of my room.

I say in the nicest possible way for her to get out of my way.
She refused so i did the next best thing and i grabbed her and hugged her
which she hates. And said if you don't get out of my way i will lick your face.

She said you would'nt dare. I said oh yes i would
needless to say she did not believe me. And i licked her cheek.
Not only once but three times. And i said I love you!!
And then i kissed her cheek.

This made her cry! So after about 4 hours i actually
think i found the floor. At least i think i did. I told her she was paying me hazard pay!
She did not think that was funny.

I said you know i just cleaned your room.
And your damn cat hannah pisses on me on a daily basis.

All in all i really truly think that i so do need a stiff drink.

Riding in the truck with my dad!

Riding in my father's truck is not fun.

My dad took me to get my state identification today. Which was real fun.
The 10 mile ride just about made me faint. My dad had the heat blasting
to the point. Where you can't breathe and i didn't dare roll down a window.
I figured dad must be cold. So i just sat there telling myself were almost there.

We got to the Goverenment center.
And i go to walk in and there are two wright county deputies
standing there. One went thru my purse. And the other one had me take
everything out of my pockets. So I did all of this and try to proceed thru the
metal detector. The one deputy keep asking me if i had any knifes in my pockets.
And i just gave him a weird look and said no i dont have any knives in my pockets.

I did say oh yeah but i do have 3 metal pins in my hip. He said that's what is
making the alarm go off. And i finally got to go thru. I got to the DMV and filled
out all of my paper work that they needed. And the lady said to look at the top of the camera.
So i did and she said okay smile pretty. Yeah right!

I get blinded big time.
And the lady asked me if this photo is okay.

I said yeah i guess. Since alls i can see is spots of bright lights.
I hope that it was okay. From what i could see of it. Looks like a mug shot.
I have lots of mug shots. lol

I get back out to the truck and my dad said to me
i thought they came and got you. (the wright county jail is also in the same building)
He must of seen the deputies at the door. I said umm no why would they do that.
We won't get into that right now.

Ummm Yeah.....

Okay i don't know what i did wrong. With that survey i just took. It shouldn't look like that. What can i say.... I was having a blonde moment. Plus i am not very good at copying and pasting. And that;s my story and i am sticking to it. So you will have to read it all bunched up like that. Until i can master the copy paste thing.

Here is another survey

1) Three days from now will you kiss someone?Most likely not!.2) What color are your eyes?green3) What does your third text say?"Don't have a cellular device".4) And who was it from?umm noone.5) Do you like what you see in the mirror?Umm no.6) What are you wearing right now?t-shirt and sponge bob pajama pants.7) What are you most looking forward to?when i get my teeth finished .8) Gotta work today?umm yeah.9) Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past 7 hours?, umm again no.10) Have you ever been awake for 48 hours?.yes.11) Do you like your first name?umm no. would you like to have my name..12) Do you like to cuddle?Yes ".13)What are you listening to?,the tv14) What are your initials?FDH15) Baseball or football? neither16) Married?No never why would i do that..17) Favorite kind of blanket?The one my son justin made for me for christmas i call it my wolfie blanket.. 18) What's your biggest fear? Umm my biggest fear is MICE. They are oh so very icky... And i hate being the one to dispose of them ewe or being chased by them.19) How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? They are yummy .20) What kind of soap do you use?Victoria secrets love spell.21.)Europe or the Caribbean?Europe.22) How do you feel about racism?No comment.23) Who is the sexiest person alive? Well its a toss up. between Nicolas cage and Jared. Nah i would have to say it is most definetly Patrick swayze..25) Name a song that reminds you of old memories?I would say prince but alot of my friends i partyed with liked him. So i would have to say Reo Speedwagon Boston And Journey.. 26) Do you like the color gray?No not really 27)Is there anyone you can't stop thinking about?. Umm Yeah but i won't say his name in fear that julian may chew my butt for it. Not to mention a few others might as well..28) Look outside, how's the weather?. Well its night time. It's kinda of chilly. Besides i live in minnesota. And that should say it all. 29) Are you jealous of anyone right now?Do you really want me to answer that. You might not like what i have to say. And i will leave it at that.30) Did you ever think someone didn't like you, but came to find out they really didYeah right..31) Last time you ate grilled cheese?. Ummm last week and it was yummy.. 32) Name something great that happened today? I spent the day with my boys. 33) Do you regret doing something today?Umm no.34) When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head?Rainbow bright...35) How are you feeling? Good..36) Do you watch the Oscars?. When i remember too i haven't in a long time.37) Favorite movie?I just watched National Treasure and that's now on my list of favorites. And i also watched a movie called Crossroads and i am most definetly not going to ever watch it again .39) Desktop or Laptop?Desktop.40) Would you date someone 10 years older than you?Umm Yes i only date men older then me.41) What would you do if your significant other wanted to go into the military?I don't have a significant other, Where the fuck is #42?43) What's your dream car?Anything Dodge.lol.44) Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?.Yeah 45) List one fact about you?I So do like Bubble Wrap. lol46) Do you think you're old?. No... But my 15 year old son points out to me that my hair is silver.Love ya Butts..47) Are you afraid of the dark?It depends on where i am at. But most of the time no.

Happy Mother's Day, To All

When i woke up this morning i got the biggest surprise. My two youngest boys came to see me! This made my day. I got my mother's day gifts from them and i will cherish them for all time. At least one of the gifts. Zach my 16 year old gave me a pack of camels. And said happy mothers day. (Which i needed them) And that meant i didn't need to get out of my sponge bob pajama pants, Big plus And my youngest son justin got me a car yes a car and a pack of trident gum. The car he got me is a collector. He got me the general lee (Dukes of Hazzard) and it's not the kind of car that you can drive. (justin is 15) and got his mom a hot wheels.

My son the comedian. But this gift made me so very happy. When he gave it to me and i said oh butts you do love your mom. As he is saying okay mom you can let go now. And butts has been justin's nick name since he was 2 years old.

I hope that everyone has a great mother's day!!!!!